New Year, Better Me

As we approach the new year, we are hopeful that 2021 will be a huge improvement in comparison to 2020. In 2020, we experienced so many hardships, including a relentless pandemic, cruel racial injustice, tremendous job loss, and so much more. It’s no wonder we are so ready for a fresh new year. However, at the turn of the new year, we cannot expect everything will change instantly. As if things will return ‘normal’ again. I don’t mean to sound harsh or negative, I’m just being real with you!

There is hope though. 

We may not be able to change our circumstances in 2021, (though we can certainly pray and hope they will) however, we can absolutely change our mindset, attitude and effort. These are the only factors we can control, therefore, we should focus our precious time and resources on them. 

That being said, I am almost positive you have heard the phrase, “New Year, New Me!” I definitely have said these words myself and have heard so many others say it as well. Here’s my question. If we are supposed to be happy with who we are, and content with what our Creator has given us, why are we trying to create a new self? Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of loving yourself for who you are? 

I have adjusted the phrase to say, “New Year, Better Me,” because as humans, we always have room to grow and should always strive to better ourselves. Saying you want a new version of yourself, is basically saying the old version isn’t good enough. It’s saying that you are not whole or complete in who you are, therefore, you need to create a new you. How disappointing is this?!? I mean, come on people, how are we supposed to have a better year if we are constantly striving to be someone we are not? For those of you who don’t have a ton of energy all the time, (Me!) being a new you takes a whole lot more energy than just simply being yourself.

If there’s anything we learned this year as a community, it’s that life is precious and should not be taken for granted. For those of you who have lost friends or family to COVID-19, my heart aches for you. My heart aches for the pain and suffering all parties have experienced. My heart aches for those who were attacked by the insensitive and ignorant. My heart aches for those who were/are harmed or killed because of racial injustice. I could not possibly imagine how you feel, however, I am certain and hopeful that this year’s trials and adversities should open the eyes of others. It should really put things into perspective… 

If we only have so much time on this earth, I highly recommend you don’t waste your precious energy and time trying to be someone you are not. Instead, use this time to truly be present and learn as much as you can, so that you may serve others and live a more substantial life. The more you grow, the better you become and feel, especially in your close relationships. Growth benefits all. Saying “New Year, Better Me,” implies that you are not a terrible or inadequate person. It implies that there is always room to improve. Even if you’re eating an average healthy diet, you might start to eat with more intention to improve specific areas of your health. This is why our bodies were made the way they are…impermanent. Always changing. This means that if you have a great nutrition routine set in one season, it doesn't mean that it is optimal for the next season. Catch my drift?

My goal in life is to help others become the BEST versions of themselves. Now notice I said, “version.” I didn’t say, “Help others become new selves.” Of course, we are different versions of ourselves each year, month or even each day that passes. It’s a matter of, are we becoming better, worse or remaining stagnant? The latter two options are not preferred, especially if you want to live a healthy, substantial life, but that is for you to decide.

Here are some steps to take when thinking about striving to be better:

1. Self-reflection
   Review yourself, including your actions, habits and thoughts. Do they align with your values? Are you practicing healthy habits?

2. Define Strengths and Weaknesses
   Once you self reflect, you’ll have a pretty good idea of what your strengths and weaknesses are. Jot down as many that come to mind. This can include time management, self control, organization etc. (This will help with the next steps)

3. Brainstorm Strategies 
   Take an hour or so and brainstorm ways you can improve or replace unhealthy habits. For example, I have a shopping addiction. This means I need to improve my self control, therefore, next year, I am adjusting my budget and giving myself a limited amount to spend. Make sense?

4. Select and Apply 
   If you’re like me, you probably have more than a few things to work on (I seriously have list of at least 15 different items to improve!) However, if we want to be successful, we must tackle one habit or item at a time. Yes, you heard me. ONE habit or change at a time. I know that might sound aggravating right now, but trust me, you’ll be thankful in the long run.

5. Keep Record
   As you work on your chosen habit, I encourage you to jot down your progress (or no progress). It helps to view these notes, especially when there are days when you feel like you are making no progress whatsoever. It also helps you plan for upcoming months and changes you might want to apply.

6. Celebrate Your Progress
   This is probably the most important step! If you’ve shared your progress with friends and family or even on social media, have others join in on a celebration of progress, no matter how small. This will help encourage you and give you a sense of confidence to continue on your growth journey. Others may be growing in the same area you are and are most likely struggling to growing in similar ways. Community is extremely important when it comes to growth.

I hope these tips and suggestions help and guide you on your way to becoming the best versions of yourselves. I am so excited to see your growth and to see how it affects you and your relationships. If you would like to share your progress or wins with me, please do! It brings me joy to see others grow and learn in different ways. Either tag me at @mindfulmariee on Instagram or shoot me an email at connect@mindfulmarie.com.

Cheers to all the improvement and growth to be experienced and cheers to a hopeful and blessed 2021!